The Rapidly Growing “Sandwich” Generation

Are you part of the “Sandwich Generation”? No, we’re not talking about a generation of people that like to eat sandwiches, it’s a newer growing group of individuals that are facing sometimes insurmountable challenges. This group is tasked with not only raising their own children, but also providing care for their elderly parents at the same time.

According to Pew Center for Research in January 2013, nearly half (47%) of adults in their 40s and 50s have a parent age 65 or older and are either raising a young child or financially supporting a grown child (age 18 or older). And about one-in-seven middle-aged adults (15%) is providing financial support to both an aging parent and a child.

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Members of the sandwich generation are oftentimes pulled (or yanked) in many different directions. The result is a mental, emotional, and financial toll that can be extremely difficult to deal with. Oftentimes, these individuals are working full-time trying to juggle the roles of several people combined. With all the added responsibilities of caring for an elderly parent can come burn-out, exhaustion, insomnia, and many other stress-related illnesses.

Here are some helpful tips to help reduce manage the added responsibilities:

◾Carve out a block of time each week to participate in a hobby or interest that is relaxing and can help you rejuvenate

◾Plan meal and schedules ahead of time to help alleviate stress

◾Talk to siblings or other family members that might be able to help go shopping, run errands, or provide companionship to your parents

◾Find a home care company that can help provide short-term “respite” care to give you a little break each week.

Enriched Life Home Care Services is available to help provide short-term/long-term and part-time/full-time care for your aging parent. We understand the importance of having someone there when you cannot be and hope you will contact us should you need assistance in the future.

Enriched Life Home Care Services  |  www.ELHCS.com

Seniors Suffering from Seasonal Depression

The changes in temperature and seasons can be a warning sign for aging seniors being affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

SAD is a type of depression that comes as a result of the reduction of sunlight coming from shortened days. Be sure to pay extra careful attention to your loved ones during this time of year to notice changes in their behavior such as: fatigue during the daytime, sadness, weight gain, lack of desire to participate in activities, or suicidal thoughts.

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Should you believe they are affected by SAD below are some recommendations to help reduce the effects of this type of depression:

Exercise – Regular daily exercise will help keep energy levels high to help ward off depressive thoughts and feelings.

Volunteer – If they are able, taking some time out to help someone in need will not only get them out of the house, but is good for the soul.

Get Sunlight – Take a break throughout the day to go outside and get some direct sunlight to increase vitamin D levels. Vitamin D supplements can also be taken to help keep levels high during winter months when it is difficult to be outside for extended periods of time.

Speak to a Doctor – If the symptoms are amplified or if you are concerned for their safety, do not hesitate to seek advice from a medical professional.

At Enriched Life Home Care Services, we offer in-home care services to help provide your loved ones with much needed personal care and companionship services. Our services can help reduce the effects of seasonal depression by being their when family members are not able to be there.

 Enriched Life Home Care Services LLC  |  www.ELHCS.com

 

 

 

With Dementia…Time is My Enemy

It’s been awhile since we’ve shared a guest blog from Rick Phelps. Rick was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease in June of 2010 at the age of 57. Rick is passionate about bringing awareness to this disease and is the Founder of Memory People, an Alzheimer’s and dementia support and awareness group on Facebook. In the latest blog article, Rick tells us how time has become his enemy with his disease.

“Sometimes yesterday, can seem a million years away.” This is the beginning of “While I Still Can…” a song my dear friend Dan Mitchell penned for me.

He took some of my quotes and put them to music. The reason the first line of the song is about yesterday, is because when you have dementia you have no yesterdays.

I no longer have any concept of time. I can tell time, but there is no concept of it. Ten minutes can seem like an hour. If someone says “I will call you in a half hour” that half hour is long forgotten in just minutes.

Many patients suffer with the loss of time. When you are able to tell time you need a reference point. Take for example, if you know you have to be at an appointment on a certain day, at a certain time, the first thing that goes through you mind is a reference of that time.

If it’s Monday at 3:00pm. you might reference that too it’s your first day back at work, and you have to be there when the kids get of school, at 3:00pm.

This doesn’t work when you have dementia. I can’t keep track of the time of day it is, let alone the day of the week. I have no reference to go by.

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Telling your loved one you will be taking them to the doctor tomorrow, Monday at 1:00pm means absolutely nothing. Chances are they don’t know what today is, let alone tomorrow and if you tell them they will simply forget.

Again because they have lost the concept of time. Not many people talk about losing the ability to tell time or know what day it is, but it is a huge problem for the dementia patient.

Everything you do, everything you have planned from the time you wake up till the time you go to bed at night, dictates because of your reference to time.

Right now I know it’s Wednesday, only because I just looked. I had to fill some paper work already this morning, and did it before Phyllis June was up.

That was a mistake. I put the date as September 31rst. There is no September 31rst. I looked at the calendar and everything, but still wrote in September 31.

She checked it luckily and said its Oct.1, not September 31. She didn’t go into there is no September 31, knowing that it wouldn’t register any ways.

Out of habit, you will tell your loved one about a certain date, or time. And that’s fine. It’s what you have been doing forever. Just try to remember, they have no reference of time, and will likely not remember it in just minutes.

So, if it’s important you have to be the one to make sure they are ready to go or do whatever it is at any given time.

The second verse of the song goes, “Time is my enemy, that’s why I’m living for right now.. Tomorrow just to far to think about, my heart only knows one task.”

Time indeed is my enemy. And it most likely is your loved ones as well…

We’d like to thank Rick for sharing his personal stories with us to bring awareness of this disease to others. To learn more about Rick and his story you can visit his website at http://whileistillcan.net

If you or someone you know has been touched by dementia or you’d like more information, please join other patients, caregivers, and advocates all walking this journey together at the Memory People Facebook page at

https://www.facebook.com/groups/180666768616259

A Mother’s Selfless Love: Michele’s Story

Enriched Life Home Care Services is grateful for the personal story Michele DeSocio has written about placing her mother with dementia in a care facility. We hope that her story will be a help to others that are dealing with the difficult decision of placing their loved one in a facility versus keeping them at home.

My Mom, Jean DelCampo, was 58 when I got a call asking for help. I picked Mom up and moved her in my home along with my husband and three children. At the time Mom was misdiagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder. 

Several years later my husband and I went away for a weekend, leaving Mom in the capable hands of my sister. The change in environment caused Mom to shake uncontrollably and my sister brought her to the ER. 

After 19 horrid days in a psych ward Mom was finally properly diagnosed with dementia. Mom was still capable of making her own decisions and after rehab Mom insisted on placement. 

Placement was not something my sister or I would ever have considered. We begged her to reconsider, but Mom was firm. She wanted to spare her children, she did not want to be a “burden”. We had no choice but to honor her wishes and mom was placed in a facility. Mom was sicker than we understood. I consider this to be a most unselfish act of love. 

MicheleDesoscio-mom-sister2Much to my surprise, mom was very happy and she settled in rather quickly. Since she was not as sick as many of the other men and women living there, she found purpose and satisfaction in assisting her fellow residents. Always the nurturing person I so adore, mom was so helpful that many people thought she worked there.

Our worst nightmare, placement, was not what we thought it would be. Mom was well cared for by professionals and we visited often, went on many outings and mom spent many weekends in our homes. It was a win/win. 

We did face the many challenges that come with the disease, POA, medical proxy, DNR, battles with medications, and on and on. We road the roller coaster of dementia together. 

It’s now 15 years later, mom is 73 and in the later stages of the disease. 

For those of you struggling with the decision of placement please know it can be the right thing for all concerned. 

Your family member can receive the professional care they need, under your supervision, and live a productive and happy life after being placed in a nursing home. You’ll have more control than you think. You are the advocate. You are still their daughter, son, spouse or friend. Live in the moment and enjoy what you have, not what you are losing.

Mother knows best, always a Mom

For the past 2 years I have been an advocate and Administrator for Memory People, an online support and awareness group on Facebook, founded by patient Rick Phelps in 2010 at age 57.

If you or a loved one is affected by Alzheimer’s or any dementia related diseases please join Memory People.  We don’t have a cure but we have each other. Memory People, bringing awareness, one person at a time…

https://www.facebook.com/groups/180666768616259/

Many families are currently dealing with loved ones suffering from dementia. Enriched Life Home Care Services is here to assist or answer questions you may have about caring for your loved one.

Enriched Life Home Care Services  |  www.ELHCS.com

Helpful Tips for Caregivers

We are excited to introduce Tanvi Patel, MA, LPC-S, NCC as our guest blogger. Tanvi is a licensed therapist and trained mediator. Tanvi has a wealth of expert advice on a variety of topics and presents helpful points for those that are currently caring for a loved one.

When I think of Elder Care, I think of my grandparents, I think of the future and what my parents might need, and I think of how I’d like to live out these so-called “golden years.”  Over the last decades, as Americans continue to push the average senior age higher and higher, a lot of focus has been turned toward seniors and all that is entailed.  Retirement funds need to be larger, healthcare funds need to be allocated, families join together to accommodate an aging family member, depression and existential crises need to be explored and when appropriate, treated therapeutically. The list goes on. But today in this piece, I’d like to focus on the role of the caregiver and helpful points to consider in caring for an elder loved one.

Family-Caregivers

Caregivers come in all shapes and sizes increasingly as many homes are two income homes and time is a scarce commodity.  Nurses, physical therapists, occupational therapists, counselors, social workers, home health care workers, sons and daughters, spouses, in laws, nieces, nephews, friends.  This list goes on too.  With so many individuals providing care for aging loved ones, it is important to keep a few things in mind to help clarify the role of caregiver, to help resolve any feelings of resentment and guilt, and to help manage stress and to help stay informed.

Helpful points in caring for an elder loved one:

  • Always take care of yourself.  You cannot adequately help others if you are not okay.  Stay healthy physically, emotionally and mentally.
  • Seek out other caregivers in similar roles to yours.  Share the struggle, it is not easy.  You are not alone. Create a group that talks over coffee or an online forum to stay in touch.
  • Manage stress when providing care.  It’s important to remember that the senior individual is not purposefully trying to make you angry or irritate you or single you out, etc.  In order to increase patience and efficacy in caregiving, find ways to manage your own stressors and leave them at the door when interacting with a senior.  This will also help decrease any feelings of guilt when losing patience with an elder loved one.
  • Cut yourself some slack.  Even though stress can be managed, the role of a caregiver is sometimes too stressful for one person.  Find help if you need.  This will only increase the care you provide and in turn increase the quality of life for the senior.
  • Stay in the loop.  Sign up for blogs, newsletters, mailing lists, etc. and become informed about any conditions that the senior you care for has.  This will help you separate symptoms from normal interaction with the senior, and help preserve the relationship.
  • Always remember to respect the full life this senior has lived.  Many times with diseases such as dementia or Alzheimer’s when seniors’ behaviors might mirror children’s behaviors it can be easy to slip into treating them as such.  Treating seniors with dignity will help improve care and the relationship you have with them.  And it’s the right thing to do.  This will also remove any guilt you may have for reacting to a symptom versus managing the elder’s symptom.

These may sound like simple points, but they can be crucial to the efficacy and well-being of the caregiver. In my practice, I see caregivers burn out, have increased anxiety, have feelings of resentment, guilt or depression, and are struggling to continue care of their loved one.  Following these points can help enormously and keep the caregiver in a healthy, functioning state of mind in order to provide the senior with the effective and compassionate care they need.

To learn more about Tanvi and all the services she offers, visit her website http://www.counselingandmediation.com

Disclosure:  If some of these circumstances apply to you and are interfering with your ability to continue providing care or living functionally, it may be time to seek professional help. 

We would like to thank Tanvi for providing these helpful tips for caregivers. At Enriched Life Home Care Services, we understand the crucial role that a caregiver can play in someone’s life. We are here to answer questions and offer home care solutions to help you provide the best care for your loved ones.

Enriched Life Home Care Services  |   www.ELHCS.com